Please, let me fuck your mom
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
