There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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