Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
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