Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just gargled with NyQuil
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
