dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
