Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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