But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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