he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
