just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
