YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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