My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
