i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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