OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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