She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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