we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
