I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
