you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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