i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
