So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
