Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
