somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
