I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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