Jerry, you need to find god
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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