matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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