Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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