She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
