Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The beer is more important than you right now.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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