At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
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He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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