Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
