Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
