wake up i wanna do it froggy style
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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