idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
