it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
