I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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