he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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