i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
