So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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