Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm at about main and main street
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
