i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
