Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
