Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
MIDGETS
????
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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