If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i out mim tonsoeep
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
