Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
