that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
