woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
