How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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