Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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