I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
