My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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