If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
