i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
