dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
