Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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