so let's talk penis.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
