um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
