I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
