Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
