just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
