I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize