wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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