What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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