Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
