Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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