Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
