Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
