yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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