yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
