How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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