She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
