Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
